That's right. I'm doin' it... I'm plagiarizing good ol' JT... It's a good phrase I think. Its a good mantra and also a great goal! I found mine again... the sexy that is. It's back, and it feels good. I even went out and shaked it all over here a couple weeks ago - just like i did when i was 20. Ya baby. You know that strut you get when you're not thinking about how much flesh is hanging over your pants. That per-ma grin you wear when you tighten your belt to the third notch in and its still totally comfortable. That upward proud posture you hold when you don't feel like you have to slouch with your arms crossed to hide your gut. All these little things create an essence. An air about you that is undeniable. The sexy - that 'je ne c'est quoi' if you will. Its wonderful. And if its been gone for quite some time, its fabulous to have back.
I want to touch on something for a second though. I watched a program recently, HEAVY on A&E. The lady on this particular episode after losing 50 pounds or something (maybe it was more at that point - might have been the end of the episode) said "I actually feel sexy now, I don't think I've ever felt that before." That really hit home to me. I mean, she has a child so I know she's had sex. But what would that sex be like for her if she wasn't feeling sexy? Made me realize once again how fortunate I am, that at least I knew what was missing, what I had temporarily misplaced. The vast majority of people that I know have all felt that kind of sexy before. Some earlier than others, some in different forms and different ways, but almost ALL of them know what its like to feel sexy. That really blows my mind. I was trying to think of how those who have not felt it must feel. I think the next HEAVY episode has a lady on it who is mid 40's and still a virgin. Not that sex is EVERYTHING, but we all enjoy a damn good shag now don't we? But with the sex there is also a lot of intimacy, a raw closeness, an animal magnitude - I'm not even sure how to describe it - that GGRRRRRR that comes with so many emotions and feelings that this poor woman has not yet experienced. But I also don't think that being over weight is the maker or the breaker here. There are SO MANY robust men and women out there who are so happy with themselves and just work it ya know? They own it, and that's who they are and they are raw and beautiful and happy. A great example for those who need to get in touch with themselves.
I had a friend ask me once, shortly after some kind of statement about wanting to get some weight off "are you sure you aren't just happy with your size right now?" And I thought about it for a moment then said "I'm sure. I'm not happy, so it can't be right." So I guess in there lies my point of this post. Be sure to ask yourself that question. Don't get skinny just because that's what you think everybody else thinks you should do. Maybe you're already happy..... just a thought. Dig deep and see, you never know what you might find. My guess is the woman I mentioned above - well both of them really - is that neither of them were ever really happy with themselves. I think that's where the sexy comes from. Making peace, forgiving and appreciating yourself. The self worth that we think comes from the world around us, but really just needs to be found within. Whether you are alone right now, or with someone - no friends or 100 friends, you can get your sexy on!! Or you can get it back, whichever applies! Challenge yourself to challenge yourself! ha ha!! Branch out and do something outside of your comfort zone that you've always wanted to do and THINK that you can't!! No matter what shape, size, color, race, gender ANYTHING, the result will be a sexier new you! A sexier BRAVE new you!!!
I found my sexy again, but I don't just attribute it to the changes in my physical - it's way more about the mental then anything else. Just to let go, and surrender to the experience. Not even a particular experience but just life in general. Quit worrying about every little thing and be HAPPY.
FEEL happy.
Life does not have to be hard.
T
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